goodbyes aren’t forever, she said. goodbyes aren’t forever.
I’ve been putting this off for a long time already, because I hate goodbyes. I’ve never been given many goodbyes anyway, and I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to say when the time comes. And I’m sitting here, staring at the screen, fumbling with my words, trying to get them to say the things I want to tell you.
Thing is, I haven’t been okay for a long while now. Some days are better than the others, but it’s always there, lurking in the darkness of the night. And nothing happened to make it this way, it just is. And I don’t really know who I am, or where I’m going anymore. And I have to find myself again, in this beautiful fucking world. I couldn’t tell you what’s wrong with me, because I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Which leaves me more confused in this mess I’ve placed myself in.
I’m sick of faking things. Faking that I’m okay and that I’m not pretending. I just want to be fucking honest for once. And I have accept some things as person, and figure things out before I can come here and share my words with you wonderful people.
And I don’t want you guys to worry because I’ll be okay. Soon enough, I’ll be okay.
There are a lot of people who really care here, and fuck, you do not know how much that means to me. And I know, you want to help, but this is just something I need to figure out on my own.
I’m still writing, but for myself. In a book, and hopefully, if one day I’m me again, I’ll make another account and we’ll all find each other again, because all of you are truly wonderful people.
But for now, this is the end.
I hope with all my heart that all of you find what you’re looking for, and that all your wildest dreams come true.
And I’m being really melodramatic about this, so I’m going to shut up now.
If anyone wants to keep in contact, my msn is itsforthebest27@gmail.com
goodbyes aren’t forever, she said. goodbyes aren’t forever.
I’ve been putting this off for a long time already, because I hate goodbyes. I’ve never been given many goodbyes anyway, and I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to say when the time comes. And I’m sitting here, staring at the screen, fumbling with my words, trying to get them to say the things I want to tell you.
Thing is, I haven’t been okay for a long while now. Some days are better than the others, but it’s always there, lurking in the darkness of the night. And nothing happened to make it this way, it just is. And I don’t really know who I am, or where I’m going anymore. And I have to find myself again, in this beautiful fucking world. I couldn’t tell you what’s wrong with me, because I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Which leaves me more confused in this mess I’ve placed myself in.
I’m sick of faking things. Faking that I’m okay and that I’m not pretending. I just want to be fucking honest for once. And I have accept some things as person, and figure things out before I can come here and share my words with you wonderful people.
And I don’t want you guys to worry because I’ll be okay. Soon enough, I’ll be okay.
There are a lot of people who really care here, and fuck, you do not know how much that means to me. And I know, you want to help, but this is just something I need to figure out on my own.
I’m still writing, but for myself. In a book, and hopefully, if one day I’m me again, I’ll make another account and we’ll all find each other again, because all of you are truly wonderful people.
But for now, this is the end.
I hope with all my heart that all of you find what you’re looking for, and that all your wildest dreams come true.
And I’m being really melodramatic about this, so I’m going to shut up now.
If anyone wants to keep in contact, my msn is itsforthebest27@gmail.com
And I kind of hate taking long walks or drives with people because I can’t really get my words out the right way, or say the things you really want to hear. Because I’ll let the silence linger between us or nod nonchalantly to the sentences you speak to fill the increasing gap between us. It’s stupid really but it’s just another reminder of how I’m not that person that will always bring a smile to your face, but just another soul trying to figure things out in all the wrong ways.
When I have high expectations for a song and it turns out to sound like complete shit:
When I have high expectations for a song and it turns out to sound like complete shit:
Because he’s just a fucking genius and gets his words out right.
(via lionheart)
I don’t even have words to express what the fuck my mind comprehending/understanding/thinking about. But I’ll try to write it all out, and maybe let you see some of it.
Maybe.
And I kind of hate taking long walks or drives with people because I can’t really get my words out the right way, or say the things you really want to hear. Because I’ll let the silence linger between us or nod nonchalantly to the sentences you speak to fill the increasing gap between us. It’s stupid really but it’s just another reminder of how I’m not that person that will always bring a smile to your face, but just another soul trying to figure things out in all the wrong ways.
Just woke up.
It’s been a fucking long week.
They were just two people, both in too much agony to explain, with hatred pitted against their hearts towards all the wrong things. And I was just another little girl trying to stick all these puzzle pieces together and make everything okay again.
And it was a lesson being taught for the thousandth and first time, but one I’d never really understood or let sink into the depths of my gray mass. Time and time over again, it hit me like a bullet.
Life goes on.
And it was a lesson being taught for the thousandth and first time, but one I’d never really understood or let sink into the depths of my gray mass. Time and time over again, it hit me like a bullet.
Life goes on.
